So,I'm the furthest thing from an American Idol junkie. In fact,I really kind of hate it.
In fact, aside from an occasional episode of Hillbilly/Rich Bitch trade-off (a.k.a Wife Swap) to appease my lady,I avoid cable like the plague.
So why did I suddenly become engrossed in a show this season that has literally sickened me for years,(except the try-outs,which always provide a guilty chuckle or three)?I really couldn't say.I saw a few early on with a lot of promise, ( quirky Siobhan with the haunting voice,Katelyn Epperly,who looked like Kate Capshaw as sexy songbird Willie in the second Indy Jones outing,and my man Lee Dewyze).....
Well,I got bored with it several episodes ago,and was watching just for the sake of seeing who got booted out on their ass.. why one-note Mike went home AFTER Siobhan,I can't fathom.I think that's when it became especially intolerable for me,listening to that over-inflated goon dip into different genres, ("In the Ghett-oooo"?OK,really?) and crank out the same exact sound with slightly different pitch.And don't get me started on "Mama Sox",who is actually talented,but the public's stupid names for her make me detest her.
So tonight was the "finale",and honestly a waste of 2+ hours,trotting out tired,silver-haired,beer-bellied has-beens to scream into the microphone in a sad mimicry of their glory days.Alice Cooper,you really need to give the leather studded pants to Goodwill for some EMO punk to enjoy. Janet, (Ms. Jackson,'cause I'm nasty) your jumpsuit from 1991 doesn't fit you anymore,hang it up.
After we were bombarded with syrupy duets,Brady-Bunch-style numbers in private school uniforms (?!)and 10+ goodbyes/tributes to the departing Simon Cowell,(including a pill-fueled rampage by Paula Abdul in a pink party dress 30 years too young for her) finally my man Lee (he's my man because he rocked some seriously great hair, and a gray leather jacket I would kill for-also he's very humble) was announced as the winner.Stinky Bowersox,you've officially been de-throned.
And You,Mr. Dewyze, won't be mixing any paint again for some time.
Hopefully the diminuitive young man won't fritter away his opportunity (and subsequent cash flow) on booze,drugs and skanky chicks.
On second thought,such behavior is perfectly normal for a rising star-have at those hos,Lee!
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