Lee Dewyze,FTW!

So,I'm the furthest thing from an American Idol junkie. In fact,I really kind of hate it.

In fact, aside from an occasional episode of Hillbilly/Rich Bitch trade-off (a.k.a Wife Swap) to appease my lady,I avoid cable like the plague.

So why did I suddenly become engrossed in a show this season that has literally sickened me for years,(except the try-outs,which always provide a guilty chuckle or three)?I really couldn't say.I saw a few early on with a lot of promise, ( quirky Siobhan with the haunting voice,Katelyn Epperly,who looked like Kate Capshaw as sexy songbird Willie in the second Indy Jones outing,and my man Lee Dewyze).....

Well,I got bored with it several episodes ago,and was watching just for the sake of seeing who got booted out on their ass.. why one-note Mike went home AFTER Siobhan,I can't fathom.I think that's when it became especially intolerable for me,listening to that over-inflated goon dip into different genres, ("In the Ghett-oooo"?OK,really?) and crank out the same exact sound with slightly different pitch.And don't get me started on "Mama Sox",who is actually talented,but the public's stupid names for her make me detest her.

So tonight was the "finale",and honestly a waste of 2+ hours,trotting out tired,silver-haired,beer-bellied has-beens to scream into the microphone in a sad mimicry of their glory days.Alice Cooper,you really need to give the leather studded pants to Goodwill for some EMO punk to enjoy. Janet, (Ms. Jackson,'cause I'm nasty) your jumpsuit from 1991 doesn't fit you anymore,hang it up.

After we were bombarded with syrupy duets,Brady-Bunch-style numbers in private school uniforms (?!)and 10+ goodbyes/tributes to the departing Simon Cowell,(including a pill-fueled rampage by Paula Abdul in a pink party dress 30 years too young for her) finally my man Lee (he's my man because he rocked some seriously great hair, and a gray leather jacket I would kill for-also he's very humble) was announced as the winner.Stinky Bowersox,you've officially been de-throned.

And You,Mr. Dewyze, won't be mixing any paint again for some time.

Hopefully the diminuitive young man won't fritter away his opportunity (and subsequent cash flow) on booze,drugs and skanky chicks.

On second thought,such behavior is perfectly normal for a rising star-have at those hos,Lee!

Watch Where You're Going. Srsly.

So,I think I broke a couple of toes tonight,at least one for certain. I can't put any pressure on them,even foot-to-carpet for walking purposes. Aside from icing the hell out of my poor lil' piggies,and loading up on Excedrin,there doesn't seem to be a whole lot to do but wait for the bones to mend. Really wishing I had a pair of grandpa-style orthopedic shoes to wear on the sales floor tomorrow,I'm gonna be in misery.Speaking of Misery,it feels kinda like Kathy Bates developed a killer crush on me,and smashed my toes with her sledgehammer to keep me from leaving the house.Except that its like 90 degrees of hot outside,rather than a raging blizzard.And I'm not a published author,(yet).

If it hurts too much tomorrow, you'd best believe I'll be executing a Ferris(Bueller).I don't have any friends with a$$-kicking cars,or have the sights of downtown Chicago at my disposal,but I'd still have a good time.

*Wishes for a speedy recovery(and nurse strip-o-grams) welcome.*


On the plus side,check out this awesome cardigan I scored on Etsy the other nite. I'd been watching it for about a week,had the seller put a hold on it,and snagged it on payday.Who says we shouldn't f***ing remember the 80s (possibly early 90s,not really sure which)?





And no,this isn't me. I will rock it once it shows up in my mailbox,unlike this manorexic dude with his static mannequin pose (seriously-check out that vein work in those itty bitty wrists!).

Yo!

OK,so I'm so new to this blogging business,its not even funny. You might think a dude in his *koff* late twenties might have tackled something this basic years ago,but the truth is, I'm checking out all of these features and settings,and thinking that they should have taught a course on this in high school.

One required in order to graduate.

Alright,I'm getting carried away already.
So its my first post,if you excuse the one I started in 2007 and didn't bother to publish...and I hope I can get the hang of this,because it seems like a genuinely fantastic outlet in which to vent my daily frustrations.

And there are many. Hoo-boy, are there ever.I am,after all,in sales in the midst of a failing economy. Lets just say the customers are far from being the chief source of my irritation . ;0
I'm listening to Varese Sarabande's 25th Anniversary edition of Dave Grusin's Goonies score,as I do just about every day since its been released.Thought shit would never happen..(don't get me started,its a topic I can (sadly) talk about for hours.

Thank God I'm halfway decent-looking,the way I'm always geeking out over cheesy horror movies, (not to mention a certain pre-teen adventure flick)and background film music.If I looked like those 300lb+ dudes who own and live in their own comic book stores,(like Harry Knowles),I'd shoot myself.Really,I would've ended it years ago.

I need to quit being a lazy,unproductive oaf and bathe.I don't stink or anything..I don't think.

*sniffs armpits*
Nah,still fresh.I don't think I'm actually capable of stinking,come to think of it.